For myself and many others, I found that persistent worries of health triggered my attacks. I would type in symptoms I was having and would find new diseases everyday. Then I would start to actively worry about the new diseases and learn about them. I ended up having ECG tests, Lung Scans, Xrays and Ultrasounds. Blood tests and trips to ER. My life was completely out of control. My biggest fear was my children growing up without a mom, and what I see now, is that in that time because of my fear, they truly didn’t have me.
Death was always on the brain, who can live like that? I was diagnosed with GAD, not to my surprise. My mom has it and many other family members as well. I manage my GAD the best I can with relaxation techniques and distraction. The biggest help in my recovery has been trying new techniques and learning everything I could about Panic and Anxiety Disorder. Also, sharing my feelings with loved ones and fellow sufferers greatly helped me, as I now know that when you have the proper support system, it makes all the difference. So many of us think we suffer alone and having places online to go, such as forums or even this blog, can help.
If this sounds like you, leave a comment below because I’d love to hear from you.
I have Panic Disorder and Bipolar II. I always have death on the brain too, how do you deal with that?
I have the same exact problem.
“death on the brain”, I’ve Bern fighting it pretty well
until recently when I had complications from surgery and started having them pretty badly again.
My support system is just ok. I have young kids and a boyfriend who gets pretty frustrated.
Site like this are helpful because I see i’m not alone.
Hi Sarah! That sounded so much like me!
Over the last 3 months, I’ve been to an EENT, 3 ENTs, 3 gastroenterolgists, 1 cardiologist, and 1 psychaitrist because of all my symptoms.
Now that I’ve Googled “panic attack” and am reading about them, I think that after all the hundreds of dollars I spent on medical tests and consultations (all with non-conclusive results… they keep asking me I’m experiencing too much stress), it’s actually the most likely disease I have. @___@
Let’s talk, dear. My e-mail is above.
Hope to hear from you soon. Let’s help each other out.
Regards,
Queen
Jo- I am glad you do have some support…I feel that a support system is very important to overcoming our fears, and I am sure by now you have realized there is tons of support via internet
I know my boyfriend would get pretty frustrated as well, back in the day.
You have to realize though, that YOU are your biggest support system! This is why it soo important for people to understand what causes panic attacks/anxiety or fear fueled thinking. You need to regain your power back in order to manage your thoughts and fears effectively.
I do feel though, that learning to become at ease with the thoughts of dying is ultimately what we have to do. Having faith, learning to accept what we cannot change, and realizing life is all about love, dreams and experiences has totally replaced my fear of death!
Having kids young and having young kids, can make us feel very vulnerable to the possibility of not being here for them, but again, focusing our thoughts onto each day, rather then “what if” thinking will help distract you and give you more confidence about yourself.
Hope your feeling better!
Queen- I hear you. That was me and I know how frustrating it can be! Living in constant fear of different diseases is no way to live! It sounds to me like your right on target in figuring out what is actually going on!! You may have what many call Health Anxiety. Basically a fear of various diseases (or just one, like heart disease)most likely caused by Anxiety symptoms, of which you think are various diseases..Make sense? or else you just had no idea that anxiety could cause such scary symptoms that actually mimic symptoms of serious medical conditions.
The key to overcoming this, is learning everything about GAD and it’s symptoms, so that you can stop fearing them and I promise you, they will lessen and go away.
Knowledge is Power!!
Feel free to email me anytime
Sarah
Meghan- Review my comment to Jo, that is how I deal with the nasty “death on the brain” fear fueled thinking.
Take Care!
Hi,
I’ve read your blog. And i think I’m having a panic disorder. I have the thought of death in my mind for a couple of years now, but I just set that aside and say to myself maybe its just being “GOTHIC” and a thought that death is a way to escape and end everything.
I’ve noticed that whenever depression struck, I result on making decisions without thinking, which affects the aspects in my life as well as people around me. I need help.
Hi Nathan,
I am wondering if you have any other symptoms, other then “death on the brain”? If your not sure, have a look through my symptoms list.
It sounds like you are going through a rough time so *hugs* to you. It is unfortunate but VERY common for one with panic and anxiety disorders to dwell on death. After all the symptoms can be frightening and make us feel very powerless.
The best thing to do is visit your doctor, be reassured you are experiencing panic disorder and accept it. For me accepting my diagnosis was through learning everything I could about Panic Disorder, through Panic Away (it is very informative) but also other online resources and books. Once I felt comfortable that what I was in fact experiencing were only symptoms of panic and anxiety disorder, and applied the tools I had acquired through my research/reading, I overcame my panic attacks and anxiety.The dwelling on death vanished and now I resume a normal life.
You have to also realize that this is simply fear fueled thinking and nothing more. Remember to take the time to reflect on death as a natural process and what happens while we are here is what truly counts..Perhaps turning to a Faith of some sort, yoga or meditation may also help calm your thoughts so you may live more at peace..
As I stated above, panic and anxiety disorders have a nasty way of making you feel powerless against them. This is FALSE, you have all the power you need inside you, you just need the right tools to access that.
It is also very common for depression to accompany panic disorder, so please do recognize that and visit your doctor about your symptoms if your unsure. If it is mild depression, the best way to relieve it is through exercise, a healthy diet and support. If it is more serious, medication is usually needed.
I find in the long run a support group is very important when dealing with these disorders..There are plenty of them online
Take Care!
Sarah Campbell